
Since the 2016 presidential election, many of us have been devouring the latest news, keeping a close watch on unfolding events. How does an article get our attention? Through the headline, of course. A headline must be concise in conveying the gist of the news story or article that follows. But did you know that the compressed style of headlines, which often defies conventional grammar, adheres to certain rules and even has a fun name?
To write a headline that is not English at all but its own language, follow the syntactic conventions of “headlinese”:
- Don’t use articles (a/an, the). (“Woman Vandalizes Car for Six Hours”)
- Omit any form of the verb to be. (“ISIS Plots Discovered”)
- Replace the past tense with the simple present tense. (“Natalie Portman Slams Hollywood”)
- Indicate the future tense using the infinitive. (“Sheriff to Block Access to Dakota Campsite”)
- String nouns together flagrantly. (“College Football Bowl Projections”)
- Replace and with a comma. (“Wildfires Destroy Homes, Hotels”)
- Refer to people by last name only. (“Obama Offers Bleak Assessment of Situation in Syria”)
- Use contractions, abbreviations, shorthand, and short words. (“3 Dead in Calif. After Thanksgiving Charity Dinner”)
Speaking of short words, below is a sampling of petite verbs commonly used to save space in headlines. You may notice that these terms show up relatively infrequently in everyday language.
- Curb: control, restrain, rein in, suppress
- Dub: label, call, nickname, designate
- Hail: cheer, acclaim, welcome, approve
- Ink: sign one’s name to
- Laud: praise, extol, glorify, commend
- Mar: spoil, damage, ruin, impair
- Nix: veto, reject, cancel, put an end to
- Quiz: examine, test, question, interrogate
- Vie: compete, fight, contend, strive
- Vow: swear, promise, pledge, declare
The constraints of headlinese can lead to humorous uncertainties of meaning, some of them legendary:
- “Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim”
- “Red Tape Holds up New Bridge”
- “MacArthur Flies Back to Front”
- “Iraqi Head Seeks Arms”
- “Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung”
- “Stolen Painting Found by Tree”
- “Prostitutes Appeal to Pope”
- “Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon”
- “Lack of Brains Hinders Research”
- “NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach”
I wish I encountered such amusingly ambiguous headlines more often. It might make the news more palatable.


“Double, double toil and _____.” (4.1)
On the trip, my husband and I visited several sites of Maya ruins. To traverse one of them, we had to hike through the Guatemalan jungle, where we saw some exotic animals and insects. These included the fearless
The copy for a hotel or resort Web site has to be factual, providing information about the rooms, amenities, dining venues, spa, event facilities, and neighborhood. In equal measure, it must evoke what it feels like to be there. Sipping a watermelon mojito at the bar, devouring 
For four weeks, I had to pretend to be someone else. I messed up once, signing my own name to an e-mail. I concocted an excuse for the mistake, and didn’t sign an e-mail after that.
Last night, I walked into an introvert’s nightmare: my 30-year high school reunion (class of you-do-the-math). I wasn’t totally unprepared. A selfless friend had taken me shopping for a cute top to wear with the black skinny pants I had ordered online. (I owe her dinner, though she deserves a medal—I’m a petulant shopper.) I exercised faithfully (two dog walks and a half-hour workout) every day for two weeks in order to fit comfortably into the aforementioned trousers.
The past that never was. Steampunk, a subgenre of science fiction, reimagines modern technology as powered by steam, set against a 19th-century backdrop (such as Victorian England). The colorful essentials of steampunk include airships and steam locomotives, “brass works” (such as weapons and armor), goggles, corsets and waistcoats, and bowlers and pith helmets. (Tee Morris)
As a copyeditor, I receive manuscripts in various conditions. On occasion, I can tell that an author has gone back and read what he or she wrote, making some refinements. Such authors are like diligent dental patients, brushing and flossing before reclining in the hygienist’s chair—where torturous tools will be used to get those whites pearly. (I’m the ruthless dental hygienist in this scenario.) More often, I know I am in possession of a true first draft: the author has keyed the content and never looked at it again, perhaps assuming that a professional would follow behind, making the words shine. Such authors have done the equivalent of downing a bag of Cheetos in the dentist’s waiting room. But at least they’re in the right place to get the help they need.



Due to various commitments, it would be a relief to take this month’s post off my plate. Yet if I don’t cobble something together, here’s what will happen: At some point, I will search my blog’s archives, and there will be no entry for March 2016. I won’t get a failing grade, Earth won’t be sucked into a black hole, but I will know I didn’t meet my own minimum writing requirement. (Ironically, I have now completed the second paragraph of a post I didn’t have time to write. Similarly, in junior high, I wrote a poem called “If I Could Write a Poem.”)
